Grief & Bereavement Counselling
Grief is one of the heart's natural responses to loss. Because it is a reflection of what we love, it can be all-encompassing. Everyone's experience of grief is unique and deeply personal. Grief can have a significant impact on our wellbeing. Loss needs to be acknowledged and witnessed so we can integrate the loss into the new reality and navigate life into the future.
Jess brings a decade of clinical work, training, life experience, practical wisdom, and deep humanity in the space of grief and loss.
Bereavement loss
Bereavement is the experience of grief and mourning after a death. How we grieve depends on the relationship you have with the person/pet who died and the significance of their presence in your life. The loss can feel like the person/pet has been torn from you, leaving you stuck with the memories of what was and wondering what could have been. It can be hard to fathom an existence without this person/pet. Grieving the death of someone can also be complicated if the person who died was not a safe other, and you may feel confusing conflicting emotions. Grief such as infant loss and accidents can be also be traumatic.
Wemay experience intense and ongoing emotions such as anger, guilt, sadness, numbness, anxiety, and depression. We can also feel 'survivor's guilt' for being the one to continue living. Certain places, sights, and smells can bring up emotional memories that can feel like the person/pet is still tangibly present even though they are not. We may also find ourselves avoiding certain places or having difficulties engaging in everyday activities. These are all normal reactions to loss.
Bereavement counselling can help you come to terms with your loss and restore
a sense of purpose in life.
Non-death related losses
Loss can be related to death, but loss also occurs around painful or disorienting experiences which do not involve death. Author Darcy Harris outlines how people can experience genuine grief over tangible or intangible losses. Tangible losses have a physical, visible, or more material quality in nature. These may include the loss of a job, the loss of a home, or a loss of physical functioning due to declining health.
Other losses are more psychological, symbolic, or abstract in nature. A loss of identity, autonomy, trust in the world, dreams or hopes for the future, and a loss of personal meaning are intangible losses. The invisible nature of these losses makes these types of experiences difficult to express.
"When we grieve we allow ourselves to feel the truth of our pain, the measure of betrayal or tragedy in our life. By our willingness to mourn, we slowly acknowledge, integrate, and accept the truth of our losses. Sometimes the best way to let go is to grieve." - David Kornfield
Some common issues that people seek grief counselling for are:
Death of someone significant
End of relationships, including friendships
Grief related to abuse or trauma
Loss of a pet
Pregnancy and infant loss
Loss of dreams
Chronic or terminal illness
Life transitions, e.g. changing jobs, moving house
When after heavy rain the storm clouds disperse, is it not that they’ve wept themselves clear to the end?